What a drag it is getting old.

140 today. That 1.2 more than yesterday. But scale says BF is 34.1. That’s almost a full percent since yesterday. But I read all that stuff about the scales not being able to measure fat accurately. So I don’t know.

I mean, if it’s possible that I gained a pound of muscle after losing a pound of fat, whatever, I guess but I certainly don’t feel any smaller.

I forgot to mention that the other day – talk about a reality check – when I was doing yoga Tuesday, I realized how terribly disproportionate I look in the mirror there. Probably all the time, really, but I disguise it with my clothes. It freaked me out. And I spent all day yesterday feeling weird about how my stomach was bunching up. Yuck. Only 3 more days til doctor.

138.8,  so .6 more than yesterday, but crazy scale say BF down to 35 even, from 35.5 yesterday. The lowest it’s been before this is 35.1.

At least, I’m still in the 138s. As opposed to 140 point something.

Serious Sculpt at 6 am tomorrow. Cardio Saturday. Massive cardio Sunday.

I was going to be all gung ho and go to the gym today and take that Serious Sculpt class, but then when I woke up, even though I’d had a pretty good night’s sleep, I just felt like I should get more rest. And when I got up I realized that I am actually a little sore from yoga yesterday. I think that is a good thing.

I will go to the class on Friday, there is one at the same time that day. Alex has work on Saturday and is doing something with his dad on Sunday, so I can go and elliptical those days.

138.2 today, that’s over a pound less than yesterday.

I weighed myself before the gym today, as yoga is a bt later and I wanted to have at least a piece of toast beforehand. 139.4 again. Yippee.

The regular instructor is back, and the class is indeed just as challenging as it was before. Even though it is a “level 1″ class, she offers several options for most of the poses, so you get some higher level stuff. Although it was challenging, I did not struggle. I felt like I was able to do the same poses at about the same skill level as when I last took the class a few years ago, so I do not feel like I have lost any strength, muscle tone or flexibility.

I’d like to try the serious sculpt tomorrow morning, and a different yoga class on Monday. I also noticed a class that happens just before Tuesday yoga that I’ll try as well. Still going to do plenty of cardio, just trying to cross train.

And despite kind of “lifting the ban” on eating whatever yesterday, today I’ve had a piece of toast (admittedly it was that apple danish toast, but it doesn’t seem to have any more calories than any other piece of bread, fruit and I’m eating a salad. On the menu for tonight, pasta primavera.

Less than a week now until my follow up visit with the naturopath. It’ll be interesting to see what SHE has to say.

Finally tried the Pilates class this morning. It was waaaaay easier than I thought it would be. It was fine though, I guess that’s good, on a day when I have more time, I could definitely go do cardio after with absolutely no problem whatsoever.

I weigh 139 even today, I guess that is technically .4 lbs lost since the first weigh in on the new scale. Posted weight, goal, measurements on the DC for Summer Weight Loss Challenge.

Had an acupuncture appt. today, and when Jessica asked me how I have been doing, we talked about how I’ve been diligently going to the gym, and being very conscious of what I eat and I haven’t lost any weight and I feel miserable because I don’t enjoy anything anymore because I’m not even salting my food, and I won’t eat fast food ever, haven’t had potato chips in months, that kind of thing. We talked about all of it for a long time, and ultimately, she suggested that maybe the food doesn’t matter that much, and I should stop worrying about the food like I have been, and maybe I should just eat more normally. Obviously not go and eat every burger I can get my hands on this week, but if I want to go to Red Mill, go to Red Mill. That made me feel a lot better. I’m not jumping off the wagon or anything, I still want to hear what the naturopath has to say about it, also. But you know, I came home and kind of ate what I wanted for lunch. Which wasn’t a big deal because it’s not like I went to Dick’s or Taco Bell. But I ate that Indian potato patty thing that was in the freezer. With a little light sour cream on top. And salt.
(She also kind of said, you know, don’t worry about the salt so much. It’s just like the eggs – eggs are good for you one year, bad for you the next, and so on. Whatever salt I’ve been using is probably well within reason.)

So, ultimately, I am glad that I made every effort to improve my diet as much as possible over time, and because I realize that I was doing just fine before, and trying to pare it down and make it “more perfect” wasn’t going to do anything. So let’s see if just exercising my ass off does.

I’m like Rik in that episode of the Young Ones called “Bored” or maybe “Boring”, which starts out with Rik saying something like “I’m Bored. Bored, bored, bored. Everything is sooooo boring.”

I’m feeling pretty seriously deprived here.

Yeah, we went for a birthday at a bar last night, and I ate what I wanted (fried chicken) and I had a bunch of drinks, and I we had a good time, but then we were at home in bed at 10. Ten o’clock. On a Saturday. And I wasn’t drunk, I was tired but not sleepy. It’s just getting really hard these days. I don’t smoke anymore (for a long time) I’ve cut way back on drinking, I eat healthy stuff all the time, hardly ever go out to eat, cut way back on salt, yadda. Yadda. Yadda. All for what? So I can go work my ass off at the gym and not lose any weight anyway? Oh, I’m sorry, I lost another .4 lb since yesterday.

I mean, really? Yeah, I ate fried chicken for dinner, but not that much of it, it wasn’t THAT amazing, and I had eaten well and lightly all day. Yes, I had drinks, but I drink single Jack and diet cokes, one of the lower calorie beverages you can get in a bar. And this is all after I got up at 5:45 in the morning to go to the gym before I went to work all day and worked my ass off.

So I just feel super boring, and here I am home alone, and I get to like, clean and stuff. I’d really love to have eggs benedict and French toast and about a million mimosas, but instead I’m having a piece of toast, a baked hash brown and some fruit.

Like, REALLY?!?

I feel like I am going to die of ennui. I mean, I may as well. People this boring are like walking corpses.

33 minutes elliptical, 283 calories, 2.7 something miles. HR average 137.

Went to the gym on a Saturday. Wow. I never thought that would happen. Alex is at work, so…
Also received a “Save the Date” for a wedding in September that I kind of feel like I should look good for. Why would it matter? No idea. It just does.

Going to the gym on Saturday is actually kind of great. Not many people there, even an hour later than when I’d usually go. Kind of a ghost town driving back, even. Also, Saturday tv is a bit better.

33 minutes on the elliptical, 283 calories, 2.53 miles. Average heart rate 136, I think?

I lost a pound since yesterday, woo boy. So 139.6. Ahem.

Back to the gym today. It was all super busy in there this am. Usually, only a couple of the ellipticals I use are occupied, this morning, they ALL were. So I used one of the “ski” style ones, which was fine. Whatever. Haven’t weighed myself yet. That’s coming right up.

I think I will go tomorrow as well to make up for Tuesday. Alex has work, so he will be up and gone early, and since Sage won’t be here, and I go to work an hour later, it won’t be quite as rough getting up. I won’t have to go as early. If Alex goes to work on Sunday, I suppose I’ll go then also. Yikes.

Weighed. It creeps up by tenths of a pound each day. Where is my fat burning increased metabolism?

Yesterday, I went to the gym with a friend, and we elliptical’d away for 33 minutes, then used some weight machines upstairs.
When I went to weigh myself, I weighed in at another pound more than last time, which means I gained four pounds right back in a week.

Obviously, this is super discouraging. What’s the point of trying? I’ll continue, but I’m afraid I’m to become like this guy I saw on “Obsessed” last night, who would go to the gym 5-8 times a day. I’m already thinking I need to add another day, and that I’m going to the gym today even though I have the most terrible pain in my neck. I don’t know that it is specifically from working out, as I woke up this way one day and it’s been coming and going, but today it is much worse. And is just another great example of how all this working out doesn’t make me feel any better, only worse.

So now I’ve had severe joint pain, so bad I couldn’t get out of bed, a terrible cold, this neck pain, don’t feel any better or any thinner, still have digestive issues, and I itch all over all the time. Just want to make note of all that for when I go to the doctor’s office.

I am going to go look at scales for at home though. A real scale, hopefully a good one.

An hour or so later, I have come to the conclusion that there is no way I am going to the gym today, for anything. I’m not going to be able to do anything, it’s just too painful. I slept really well last night, but on nights that I sleep really well I have nightmares. I had a couple last night, and I wonder if one snapped me awake and caused me to move my head in such a way that I pulled this muscle somehow.

Want to know why people don’t like to work out?
Here’s Why.

After I got all inspired the other day by the fact that I had Lost. Five. Pounds! In less than3 weeks! I made sure I kept up (rather than slacking off like some people would) and went to the gym on Wednesday. Then again, today, after which, I weighed myself. I worked out really hard. That 33 minutes on the elliptical is easier, it goes by a lot faster. Where I was slogging through the whole thing initially, now I’m “running” even on the high resistance parts, and doing a lot of sprinting on the low resistance parts. I burned 290 calories and went 2.63 miles or something. I don’t remember now because I got all distracted by the fact that when I weighed myself after, the gym scale said I’d gained 3 pounds. Since Tuesday. SERIOUSLY??? WTF???? I lost 5 in 18 days, then gained back 3 in2? I haven’t been drinking, I didn’t eat any more than usual, it’s not like I went on a fucking cake binge for chrissakes. I know, I know, people can and lose up to 4 pounds in a day. Blah blah blah.

So I came home, waited a bit, and weighed myself on the Wii Fit after using the bathroom. And according to it, I haven’t lost any weight at all.

It’s extra frustrating when I’m dreaming of three day weekend BBQ’s and breakfast in bed and mimosas. Yeah, it’s probably just water weight, right? So all that cutting way the fuck back on salt didn’t do shit. Awesome. That makes me super happy. So now I get to face a three day weekend in which I’m going to be afraid to eat, much less drink, anything. My life is getting less and less fun all the time.

The only good part is that if I haven’t lost any fucking weight by the time I got back to the doctor’s office on June 14, which will be after I’ve been working out with 5 weeks, I may tell her to shove exercise right up her ass, and tell her to figure out what the fuck is wrong with me. I wasn’t expecting a miracle. Just to have shed a few pounds in that amount of time.

That’s why people don’t like working out. When you realize that all this getting up at godawfulthirty in the morning and sweating your ass off just isn’t worth it.