More normal.
- August 31st, 2010
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I weighed in at 130.6 yesterday, which felt like a big deal. Like, finally, ten lbs, gone. I’m back up over a lb today, but the fluctuations are bothering me a lot less now that I’m making progress and I feel very confident since getting the workout equipment at home.
Yesterday, looking in the mirror, I definitely felt more normal than I have in a long time. My stomach really did seem flatter, and my butt didn’t seem to stick out so far, even though, by the measurements, that hasn’t shrunk nearly as much as my waist.
I used to think (probably because I’d always had a small waistline, even with my big other parts) that I wouldn’t mind a larger wasit so much, if only the rest was smaller. Now I know better.
Today looking in the mirror, I even noticed a difference in the shape of my calves, which I’ve never noticed before. A subtle difference, but a difference. Alex noticed it the other day and I didn’t believe him. My thigh muscles have always had some definition, but it seems to extend farther now, and those saddlebags look even more like they are just hanging there, not really a part of me.
I was thinking today about how different things were when I was a kid. Everyone talks about how we didn’t have all this kid’s programming for tv (true) and how we rode our bikes and played outside a lot more (also true) but even the FOOD was different. I don’t remember eating a LOT of fresh produce. Some – raw carrots, which I loved – and “Red Delicious” apples – which I did NOT love (how were those ever called delicious??) – but I feel like more of it was frozen. Which isn’t bad necessarily, just different, although I still use plenty of frozen vegetables now.
But you know, meat was different too. I didn’t like steaks, because it was a big piece of tough, flavorless meat. maybe my mom just didn’t know how to cook them, or maybe it was just that we couldn’t afford any decent cuts. But I know that hamburger was hamburger. There were no choices for how lean it was. Lunchmeat was a stack of round slices of Oscar Meyer Bologna. Cheese was cheddar or American. Period.
At the same time, convenience foods were becoming big. The only fish we ever had was frozen, breaded. We had a lot of tv dinners in those days. Pop tarts were a big deal. That was all in the 70′s. In the 80′s it was Buddig sliced lunch meat, paper thin, you’d eat it straight out of the package. Lean Cuisine started making frozen meals, too. That may have been when Hot Pockets came out, there was a soda explosion (many new diet flavors/brands, New Coke, Jolt) and it became the norm to buy packaged cookies and donuts. And, you know, we really had no idea how bad for you those things were.
My child’s instincts may have known though. I was a weird kid, a picky eater. I didn’t like milk, which was attributed to me having drunk some that had spoiled. But I also didn’t like cheese, and cheese puffs were especially vile. I hated eggs. I didn’t like fish. How could I? The only thing I’d ever had was a fish stick. What really drove people nuts was that I didn’t like pizza. But the only kind I had until I was 10 or so was Pizza Hut. Then we moved to a little town with a local pizza joint which had arcade games and we would go there all the time and I would eat the pizza, which was about a million times better than Pizza Hut. Oh, and those frozen dinners? The only thing they were good for was the dessert, even though it was usually a gross combo of burnt and still frozen. They almost always came with mashed potatoes, which were probably more like instant potatoes (gross) and I don’t think I realized that mashed potatoes could be good until I was a teenager. The meals always had “mixed vegetables” which were wan and flavorless and included lima beans. Yuck. (But probably the only veggie I was served that I didn’t like!) And the fried chicken was a crapshoot. Sometimes it was fine, but other times the breading would be weird and bad and mushy, maybe even spoiled for all I know. Just terrible though.
My dad always yelled at me, why wouldn’t I just eat like a normal kid??? Ironically, it was sometime after he and my mom separated that I did start to eat more like a normal kid. I think after he was gone, we stopped eating the frozen meals, and fish sticks and big tough steaks, and my mom started cooking more, and more interesting (and edible to me) things. I was still picky-ish, but I was pretty normal at that point.
But at my dad’s house there were still the frozen meals, although the 80′s really upped the bar with the Lean Cuisines and whatnot. But then there were the sodas, and the chips and the ice cream and the packaged donuts over there.
Sometimes, I wish I had stayed picky. I mean, I’ve never liked milk, or learned to like lima beans, like some of the other vegetables that I discovered later (avocados, artichokes) that I learned to like, and I still don’t eat pizza. Some of it tastes good, but all of it makes me feel terrible. I did learn to love cheese, which is great, cheese is amazing, and not completely bad for you (especially since I rarely eat cheddar, and never American) but, I’m sure I’d be better off without it. Now that i know that good steaks exist, I love them, and for that I am glad, because I am sure the ones I eat now are much better for me.
Anyway, these days, we have access to tons of convenience foods, but at least most of us realize that they are not good for you, and should only be used in moderation. But what is really great is the wide variety of healthy foods we have, without even getting into the organic argument. So many people now are down on anything that isn’t organic, or even that comes from a big corporate supermarket. But when I think back to what we had 30 years ago, I’m grateful, and I just try to make wise choices when shopping.